Friend, Brother, Lover
by sparklyrainbow-of-tribbles
Summary: Spock thinks he has lost everything after the destruction of his home planet. Little did he know that Kirk, whom he thought he hated, felt his pain and loneliness most deeply. Jim is determined to teach Spock how to be happy by taking him on the simple adventures of daily life. Kirk and Spock gradually change from being worst enemies to more than friends.


Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry and J.J. Abrams.

A/N: This is my first time writing a fanfiction. I'll get better as I write more of them. But I hope you enjoy this one! K/S slash builds up gradually.

Introduction

Spock lay in his bed at his quarters, the door closed and locked, his eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were buzzing through his mind like angry electrocuted bees. As hard as he tried to fall asleep, there was just no way he could.

Of course, it should be expected for one to experience insomnia after the destruction of their home planet. His home, his culture, his childhood, and everything he grew up with had just disappeared before his eyes in a matter of seconds. It was all gone. Everything. Just like that. He had just become a member of an endangered species.

Spock remembered everything clearly: reaching out helplessly to his mother as the ground collapsed under her feet... The empty platform in the transporter room where his mother would have been... His planet, collapsing as if it were made of dust, consuming itself and everything on it from the inside out. Every single detail was crisp in his mind. They were permanent scars; memories that would never fade away.

The destruction of Vulcan wasn't his only concern, however. His mind was set on Jim, whose angry words echoed clearly in his mind:

_"You feel __**nothing**__! It must not even __**compute**__ for you! You __**never**__ loved her!"_

Spock's slanted brow twitched at the thought of those powerful words. They were like salt on open wounds. He truly and dearly loved his mother, even though he chose not to express his sadness after her death. Perhaps he should have... just a little... enough to show that he cared for her.

Jim clearly misunderstood the fact that it is part of the Vulcan culture not to express emotion. Everyone misunderstood- every _human,_ that is. They would always jump to the conclusion of Vulcans being _incapable_ of feeling emotions, or simply not caring. But he wasn't too surprised about this... no one_ ever _understood him anyway.

Yet underneath the anger and frustration Spock currently felt towards the captain, there was a tiny warmth in his heart. It was the warmth of love, for none other than the boy whom he had sent flying across the floor and nearly choked to death. Whenever Jim was around, Spock felt complete. It was a strange feeling and Spock had no explanation for it; but just as much as he was ashamed of it, he liked this feeling of wholeness.

Spock sighed in disgust at such silly childish thoughts. _Human_ thoughts. They were probably coming from the human half of him, exploding with unexplainable emotions as a result of the trauma he had just experienced.

"Illogical," he growled, ashamed of himself. He expelled the silly thoughts about Jim from his mind, and convinced himself that they would never come back.

Only, they did.

…

Jim was carelessly sprawled out on his king-sized bed in the captain's quarters, ready to crash. Man, what a day it had been. Jim was not only exhausted, but he had taken a considerable beating. His head and throat still throbbed from being nearly choked to death twice, and he was covered in cuts and bruises from being flung around like a ragdoll by Romulans and an angry Vulcan.

That brought him to the thought of Spock. Spock clearly hated him, but Jim kind of admired Spock in a way. The fact that he had knocked some sense into his hard head and proved him wrong was... admirable. It wasn't just that though. There was something else. He didn't know what. It was some sort of feeling... But all that Jim knew was that it was weird.

At the thought of Spock, Jim didn't find himself tired anymore. In fact, he found it hard to fall asleep. He couldn't get Spock out of his mind, now that he had started thinking about him. He was a little worried about the poor Vulcan, realizing that he had been much too harsh on him. After all, he had already been through so much, losing his entire home planet and everything he grew up with. Yelling at poor Spock only made it worse.

"Stupid me, I ought to apologize," Jim told himself. "In fact, I want that pointy-eared bastard to be my friend."

Jim smiled. "Scratch that. _Best_ friend." And with that, he bounced out of his bed, slipped a pair of fluffy slippers onto his bare feet, and headed for the first officer's quarters.

…

The urgent knocks at the door startled Spock. He was not expecting any visitors at this late hour. But having nothing better to do other than lie in bed, stare at the ceiling, and think illogical thoughts, he decided to answer the door.

"Captain…!" The surprised Vulcan raised an eyebrow at the sight of his captain wearing fluffy slippers.

"Sorry Spock. Am I interfering with your sleep cycle?" Jim teased.

"Not at all, captain. It's just that I… was not expecting you at such a late hour."

"Spock, I came to apologize" Jim said, as he closed the door behind them and sat down on Spock's bed. "I'm sorry about what I said to you today. I didn't mean it. I know that you love your mother very much... and if someone told me what I said to you today, I would have reacted the same way. I feel so ashamed, I should never have yelled at you like that when you've already… you know, been through so much."

Spock sat down next to Jim on the bed. "There is no need for you to apologize, Jim. I, however, feel the need to apologize to you, for I have realized that my actions were highly illogical. My violent outburst should not be excused."

There was a long pause, and then Spock continued. "To many humans, my lack of emotional expression comes across as careless. Perhaps I should have expressed my grief more visibly in condolences to my human mother, as a way of showing that I care for her. Jim, I am very ashamed of what I have done. To you, and to... everyone."

"I know, Spock. And I forgive you. If anything, I'm the one who should take the blame."

Spock shook his head. "You misunderstand, captain. Look at all the harm I caused you. You are covered in injuries at my accountability."

"It's no big deal. People beat me up all the time. I forgive you."

Spock's brow furrowed. "Do not forgive me so easily, captain. I deserve discipline for my actions. I will do anything at your request."

Jim snorted. "Spock, I told you, it's fine."

"Jim, I insist that you discipline me," said Spock with a piercing glare.

"Alright, alright," Jim laughed. "Let me think of something for you to do. Hmm..."

He thought hard. He wanted to take advantage of this opportunity, not to punish Spock, but to help him. He knew a thing or two about Spock's childhood from past conversations with his crew. Everyone, including the elders, had considered his human mother a "disadvantage." No one liked him. He had no friends. He was mistreated, misunderstood, unwanted. Most of all, he was lonely.

Jim had the same experiences as a child. His father had died the same day he was born, and his mother was still in space. The only family he had was his abusive stepfather, who obviously couldn't stand him. He knew the loneliness Spock was feeling. It was something they had in common; a part of their lives that they shared. And because of that, it suddenly occurred to him, that he loved Spock.

Therefore, Jim wanted more than anything else for Spock to have a place that he could call home. A home free of the fear of segregation, where he would be comfortable, safe, and feel like he belonged. Emotionally compromised or not, he was going to teach Spock how to be happy.

A wide grin spread across Jim's face as an idea finally sizzled to life in his head. "Alright, Spock, your punishment is….."

He let the suspense hang for a while, until the Vulcan grew impatient. "My punishment is…?"

"Shore leave is next week, Spock. We'll have an entire month on Earth, all to ourselves."

"Jim, are you suggesting that I-"

"What I mean is…" the captain's grin grew even wider. "You will be spending every single day of our one-month shore leave vacation with ME. We'll go places together. Eat together. Have _fun_ together. You, Spock, are going to learn how to _enjoy life._"

Spock raised an eyebrow in astonishment. "Well, I certainly didn't expect a punishment of that manner, if that is even classified as one..."

"Oh, you flatter me" Jim laughed. "But don't forget, you said you'd do anything at my request."

"True, captain..." Spock still looked unsettled.

"Oh, don't worry. It'll be fun! After all, Earth is now the only home you have. Might as well, you know… enjoy it?"

"My familiarity with the human culture is limited, Jim."

"It won't be after I'm done with you," Jim laughed as he ruffled Spock's neatly groomed bangs. "Spock, that's my whole point! The purpose of this 'punishment' is to help you feel at home, like you belong. I'm going to help you, Spock. I know your pain. I'm here for you, and always will be, because that's what friends are for."

He gave Spock another warm smile. "Never forget that."

Spock did not know what to say. He couldn't believe that Jim was willing to do so much for him, even after that childish, illogical, violent outburst. The spark of love for Jim in his heart had just gotten a little bit bigger, and this time, he did not try to will it away. Jim had just opened up his world to Spock, and was welcoming him into it.

Finally he had an answer to the questions he had asked himself throughout his entire childhood: _who am I, and where do I belong?_ He wasn't _neither_ Vulcan or human; he was _both_ Vulcan _and_ human. Earth was his home. The Enterprise was his home. Wherever there was Jim, that's where he belonged. He now understood the feeling of wholeness he felt whenever he was with Jim, the feeling he thought was so illogical. For the first time in his life, he felt accepted. He felt loved. He had someone who shared his pain... someone who was here for him.

Someone to love.

Spock stared at the captain in awe. Jim returned it with a smile, his blue eyes twinkling like the stars.

"Jim," Spock said slowly. "I cannot express my gratitude enough towards you. Thank you."

Jim held out a fist. "We'll start with this, now that we're best buds."

Spock looked at Jim's fist in confusion.

"It's a fist bump," Jim laughed. "You're supposed to bump your fist against mine. It's a human greeting for friendship."

Spock hesitantly returned the fist bump. His brow was slightly furrowed as if he were in deep thought, thinking hard about the concept behind a simple little fist bump, which Jim thought was kind of cute...

Jim let out a hearty laugh and gave Spock a friendly slap on the shoulder. "You've got a lot to learn, my friend. We're off to a good start."

And for the first time in his life, Spock smiled.

Ok guys, how did I do? Again, this is my first time writing a fanfiction so... Feel free to leave me positive feedback or FRIENDLY criticism. More chapters will be coming soon, so if you're interested, stay tuned! Thanks for reading! ;D


End file.
